they would look something like this :
COMMISSARY RULES :
1. It is illegal to place your cart in a perpendicular fashion in the aisle at ANY time and for any length of time.
2. Should you be in the process of making a U-turn in an aisle, you must check behind you on BOTH sides (to avoid swinging your cart into someone trying to get around you) and your U-turn must be made in 1 continuous motion (see Rule #1).
3. The Commissary is NOT a tourist attraction. Do not bring all 8 (yes, EIGHT) of your out-of-town family members shopping with you. Bring a camera and take PICTURES for them.
4. All children caught running up and down the aisles (WITH or without parental supervision) will be impounded and the parent will be SMACKED upon retrieval.
5. The minimum age for piloting a shopping cart in the Commissary is 12. NO EXCEPTIONS.
6. Should you run into or ONTO another patron, you will be removed from the premises. If you draw blood, you will be SMACKED.
7. There is a maximum selection time in the freezer section of 3 minutes in front of any 1 door. If you're debating, move to a place where you are NOT blocking traffic and contemplate there.
8. Commissary staff who feel the need to fill the aisles with stacks of merchandise and make it impossible to GET anywhere up and down said aisle will be FIRED.
9. Step stools will be available in every aisle so that people who are shorter than 6 feet can actually REACH the items on the top shelf (especially when 50% of their shopping list consists of items on the top shelf). Personal shopping assistants (preferably ones who look like George Clooney or Sean Connery) will be provided, free of charge, to all blog-owners under 5'4"...
10. Blog-owners under 5'4" maintain the right to SMACK anyone violating these rules with no repercussions on her end.
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