You know you're finally local if...

MacGyver would be appalled but I would say that about 1/2 of the following apply to me...


You buy planny toilet paper in case get one longshoreman strike.

You don't understand why anyone would buy less than one 20 lb bag of rice.

You would serve spam as a meat for dinner.

You can taste the difference between teriyaki and kal-bi. (YES)

You know what "stink eye" is, and you bettah believe you know how for geev em (YES)

You can correctly pronouce Kalanianaole, Kalakaua and Aiea. (YES...AND LAIE)

You know what is in the big breakfast at MacDonald's. (YES)

You know what "huli huli chicken" is. (YES)

You can name 3 kine mango

You have at least one family member whose name is
"_____ boy" or "tita"

You have said "wat, owe you money?","karang your alas", or "dakine"

You know the difference between being hapa and being hapai. (YES)

You give directions using mauka and makai. (YES...AND EWA AND TOWNBOUND)

You know what is "hawaii pono'i" (YES)

You know what it takes to get into Kamehameha school,
(an Aunty name Lokelani!). (YES)

You can correctly pronounce "Likelike."(YES)

Someone says the word "UKU" and your head starts itching.

You raise your chin to say "wassup" instead of nodding. (YES)

When making "Shaka", the back of your hand is facing out. (YES)

You say, "Nori" not seaweed paper. (YES)


Your jokes are about Potagee not Portugese.

You laugh at couples with corny kine Aloha wear. (YES!!!)

You get one pair of "tata" slippers. (YES)

You e-mail people in pidgin. (UM, NO)

It's 70 degrees and you stay freezing. (YES)

You use "tako" or hotdogs and old bread instead of
worms or fluorescent pink fish eggs for bait.

You got lickins' wit "da rubbah slippah" or "da rice paddle".

You can walk through Waianae and not get mugged,
well, sometimes at least.

You know that one "Kukui nut" is not some mental person. (YES)

You call it "Saimin" not "Top Ramen", you know Sapporo Ichiban mo bettah. (YES)

The surf report is on your speed dial. (NO, BUT IT IS ON MY BOOKMARKS)

Dressing up means shorts and an aloha shirt and
da black slippah instead of da rainbow one! (YES)

You say "shave ice", not snow cone or shaved ice. (YES)

Rainbow Drive-Inn is a special date.

You go Kam, not Aloha swap meet. (I GO TO BOTH)

You know pineapples don't grow in trees. (YES - WE HAVE ABOUT #) GROWING IN OUR BACKYARD RIGHT NOW!)

You know what Li Hing Mui is and you put it on everyting. (KNOW WHAT IT IS. DON'T PUT IT ON EVERYTHING)

You ask for Shoyu and not Soy Sauce. (YES)

You call public transportation "da BUS." (YES!)

The Governor is your cousin's cousin.

You know what the H3 is but you scared drive cause you tink it stay haunted. (KNOW WHAT IT IS. NOT SCARED TO DRIVE IT BUT I'D RATHER TAKE THE PALI)

You search your car for pork before you go over da Pali. (HAHA!)

You always know what "da kine" means. (YES)

Mainland people no understand when you talk.

You eat spam musubi on regular occasions. (BLECH.)

You nevah wear shoes in the house. (YES)

You can wear slippers to almost anywhere (PRETTY MUCH)

You eat mango with shoyu, vinegar, and pepper.

You can be wearing boros and nobody tink nothin.

You never feel shame being the only one buying
Spam in CostCo on the Mainland.

You get one built-in space between your big-toe and dakine.

You like ume, daikon, and kim chee better than pickles. (EEWWW...KIMCHEE...)

On the mainland, you wondah
"How come nobody get "Plate Lunch ovah heah?".

When you go bathroom, you say "I going shi shi". (PRINCESS TROUBLE SAYS THAT NOW!)

You give directions by saying things like,
"oh yeah by where the STADIUM used to be....

You go Kalihi Bowl fo eat"OX TAIL SOUP".

You think BAYWATCH HAWAII is stupit, cause they no know how fo ack and Hasslehoff sounds supa lolo tryin fo say
"Eh, howzit,brah!" (actually, you jus jealous u not in da show!!)

The local Korean bars serve you a glass of ice
and large platter of pupu's with your beer.

Eating healthy means Spam Lite.

You never understood why adding pineapple and ham to one pizza
made it Hawaiian to the rest of the world. (YES)

When you say "Book" and a filipino gets all piss off. (HAHA!!!)

If u know how fo say ukulele right. (YES)

When all ur meals are wit rice, even if you eating spaghetti.

The fool-proof name for every woman you meet is "Aunty", if you can't remember their real name. The same goes for older males and "uncle." (YES)

You know dat rice iz mo'bettah den mash potatoes. (YES)

You still call dem RAINBOWZ not Warriorz.

You know how fo skank and you know when I say it I ain't using da haole slang.

When you make rice, you use da line on your fingah fo measure da water.

These are entirely too funny!

Pau (that means "done" or "finished").

- hfs

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