I'm usually a pretty positive person. I know on this blog it may not seem like it all of the time but this is where I vent so, for the most part, I get my frustrations and such out here and don't let them interfere with my daily life. But there are some days, like this week, that I just feel down.

One of the thousand tiny cuts I talked about is hurting. Another friend is leaving the island. I met her about a year ago when we both had just arrived. She has children about the same age as mine and we went to the same playgroup. Her husband is a Hooker though he doesn't work in the same unit as MacGyver. A few months ago, she and I were discussing churches and the fact that I hadn't found one for our family as of yet and she pointed me in the direction of her church which wound up being the right place for us. I was thrilled! Finally, a friend to weather the upcoming deployment with!

This week she told me that her husband has received orders. He had put in for a branch transfer and their orders came through. They leave in August. So much for that idea. On top of my other friends who have left or will be leaving in the face of this deployment, this was yet another one of those tiny cuts. True friends can be so hard to come by, especially in military life, and when you lose one it really hurts.

I thought I had found a solid group of girlfriends here on the island but that, too, seems to be falling apart in front of my eyes. Part of it is my fault - I jumped to conclusions too quickly and I hurt some feelings. But it just makes me so sad to see friendships fade so quickly. I'm a social person and I try my best to make friends. This week just hasn't been my week and I'm feeling alone in the face of this damn deployment. And I hate it.

Don't get me wrong. I still have friends on the island. And I'm greatful for them. But to lose even one hurts. I'll get over this down mood. A lot of it is hormones. Joy. And a lot of it is the buildup to this damn deployment (I think that's what I'll title this deployment - "This Damn Deployment"). And I know that. But I need to vent so I can get on with my day.

To all of my friends that are NOT on this island, I miss you. More than you know.


- hfs

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