My children have lost their brains


Princess Trouble received cash for her birthday (thank you to Grama L and Miss Katie!) so we trudged off to the toy store in search of toys. Because my children are neglected and don't have enough toys. So, after school today (they get out early on Wednesdays) we headed out. The time was about 1pm.

Anyway. I promised Little Man that he could get a toy as well. Being the boy, he settled quickly on a truck. Very decisive. No hesitation. He selected the Mack Truck playset from the movie "Cars". Thirty minutes later and under the threat of Mom picking the toy, Princess Trouble finally settled on her toy. Off we went to pay. The time was now 2pm.

Once the toys had been paid for, we headed home. The time when we arrived home was about 2:45pm. Once homework was completed, the toys were opened. The time was now 3:15pm.

Fast forward to 5pm. I hear the sound of plastic on concrete. The kids had been out back playing with the girls from next door so I didn't think much of it until I poked my head out to tell them that dinner was almost ready. I see one of the girls (the 7 year old) throw Little Man's NEW TRUCK - the one he had had for all of one hour and forty-five minutes - up against the concrete wall. THAT was the sound I had been hearing. I stood there, dumbfounded, for a moment and saw Little Man run and grab the truck, run back to the "launching point" and hurl the truck at the wall again.


I cleared my throat and asked them what on EARTH they thought they were doing. The 7 year old jumped and immediately looked guilty. Little Man did too. The 7 year old told me that "He wanted me to!" at which point I informed her that she is SEVEN YEARS OLD! And he is TWO. Needless to say the truck, which had been in Little Man's possession for all of one hour and forty-five minutes is now in the trash bin. There's $10 down the drain. Princess Trouble was also involved in the melee so her new toy is in timeout until tomorrow at the earliest but more likely she won't get it back until Saturday. She KNOWS better.

But wait! It gets BETTER! I sent them to go play in their room so I could calm down a bit. They decide that it would be a good idea to dump out all of their little toys from their bins on to the floor. The rule in our house is that you play with ONE toy at a time. Somehow they must have thought that the rules were suspended on the third Wednesday of the month! I must have missed that memo.

I marched in there with a big black trash bag and told them they had 5 mintues to clean the toys up or I would do it for them with the help of my trash bag. They didn't like that idea so they got moving and picked up their toys.

But WAIT! It gets BETTER! Once they had their room cleaned up, they moved on to the desk. This desk is becoming the bane of my existence. Obviously they have inherited my side of the family's genes that make us incapable of keeping our desks clean. Because they cannot. So, rather than clear off a space on which to draw, they decide that the microfiber lounge chair is a good place to color with markers. I had left the room for 2 minutes to use the bathroom and I come back to a son who is covered in marker and a chair that is as well.

Is it legal to put your children up on Freecycle? It's either that or I am shipping them off to their uncles! Grr. Hopefully the aliens will return my childrens' brains in the morning.

UPDATE:How DOES one get marker out of microfibre????? Crap.


- hfs

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