The balance between chaos and silence

I can't find a balance. There's no happy medium.

During the days, silence is non-existent. I have a hard time, with two energetic children demanding and deserving my full attention, eeking out a moment to have a thought of my own. From the moment they get up they are talking, moving, needing things, demanding things, requiring my attention, my love, my patience. My time.

There is no break. No rest. No silence.

At night the silence is deafening. The only noise heard in my house is the TV if it's on. And the ceiling fan. There are no discussions. No debriefing. No aimless chatter or intimate conversations.

Nothing but silence. Oppressive silence.

And I hate it.

How can you crave something all day long and hate it at night when you get it?


- hfs

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