New Pet

Blogging is going to remain light. MacGyver just had his rotator cuff worked on and is home recuperating (I swear, that word is spelled wrong and needs an 'o' before the 'u'...). In the meantime, I get to play Nurse Nancy. I'll let you all wonder if that position comes with a uniform...

During the course of my crazy day today while picking up my car at the hospital (MacGyver drove himself to his surgery because my schedule didn't allow me to drive him myself. Therefore I had to then be driven to the hospital to pick up the car before I picked him up 7 hours later.), I came to realize that there was a screw embedded in my right front tire (passenger side).


Drove it home with no problem. When I got the call to go pick MacGyver up from the hospital, the tire was still fine and no idiot lights on the dash came on to alert me to any problem. Of course, by the time we came back out to the car, the tire had begun to deflate (I think I dislodged the screw on the way back to the hospital) and my idiot light was on.


I stopped at a gas station and filled it back up and we limped home. Sometime either this weekend or next week I will take either the wheel (if I can find time to swap it out with the spare) or the entire car to the shop on post to have them either fix the tire or replace it.

JUST what I want to spend $100+ on right now. Whee.

Anyway, (there is a point to the story) I went out to swap cars around so that I can drive MacGyver's car to take the kids to school this evening. It's a manual so HE isn't going to be driving it for at least 6 weeks. I popped the garage door open and as I went to step out - BAREFOOT - I happened to look down...

I about wet myself. I literally was about to step on the nasty little (well, not so little) bugger. He's a good six inches. I managed to leap out of the way and NOT scream like a little girl at the top of my lungs though there was a loud gasp. They are FAST suckers...something I did not know. He scurried about while I tried to figure out what to do about - or TO - him. Finally I decided to sweep him up into a bucket because I don't want to just shoo him away and have him lurking about my house. Nor did I feel like busting out to the blowtorch and cooking him right then and there. Though that is the fate most likely to befall him.

So he's currently sitting in a bucket (no, he cannot scale the sides and escape) out in my front yard. Tomorrow, when MacGyver is a little more lucid, I'll break out the blowtorch and do away with him.

The cool thing is that, now that I've had an up close and personal experience with a centipede, cockroaches really aren't all that scary anymore.

UPDATE: He's still in the bucket. I made MacGyver go and look at him and he was impressed with it's size and the fact that I managed to a.) not scream like a girl and b.) get him into the bucket. I'm liking the bleach idea mentioned in the comments more than I like the idea of cooking him. We'll see. The kids were impressed with him too and announced that neither of them were afraid of centipedes...in buckets.

As for the tire...it's still flat but I did pick up a repair kit per Sly's suggestion. We'll fix it this weekend. Which is good because I miss my car and I'm not a big fan of driving MacGyver's.


- hfs


BillT said...

Feed the cockroaches to the centipede...

Barb said...

Of course, I've seen cockroaches in Texas that are over 2 inches long. Shorter than that sucka, but with *bulk* ... ick.

But the ugliest, and the one that scared right into instant levitation when I almost stepped on it, was a jerusalem cricket. (Warning - picture right at the top of the article!)

I'd prefer not to meet any of them!

Anonymous said...

Your centipedes look different than the ones around here. But they still have far too many legs to be logical. Their phenomenal speed is their only hope for living another second around me!

A couple of weeks ago, I had a four incher run across my laptop keyboard when I switched on the light. I jumped out of my skin. He was gone before my brain could register which way he went. He had already disappeared into the fathoms of my desk. Never did find the bugger. I hope he died somewhere else....

Why do *I* have to be their natural predator???



DL Sly said...

You realize that a tire repair kit only costs about $10 and a screw/nail hole is a very simple fix, right?

BETH said...

You know, I was wondering why you said you had to dress your husband today. I thought it was a new game you guys were playing.

Jen said...

Formula for certain centipede death (ala Meredith, the expert in centipede killings)

- grab centipede with metal kitchen tongs

- douse with lighter fluid

- hold at length while Mom screams and uses the candle lighter to torch the living crap out of him

I HATE those things!!

Mary said...

Did you consider "show and tell" for school?

AFSister said...

Oh, yuck. That is one nasty critter. *shudder*

I've have shoulder surgery before, and recovery is NO FUN. It took me months to really get over it. Tell him to take it easy, and to figure out what is "good pain" and "bad pain" in PT. I couldn't tell the difference, and suffered several setbacks as I pushed through "bad pain". It made my recovery even more frustrating that it should have been.

Frankly Opinionated said...

To the readers here: I am working on a top secret art project for Pau. I need one of you to provide me with a photo of a hooker with a sling load. Preferably a side view. I am looking around, and may find something. I would cut the load off and use the slings for part of the project. If you have one in your collection of Hooker Pron, would you send it to me at:
frankiecee@gmail.com, Pau and I would appreciate it. Thanks Y'all.

U.S. Navy Wife said...

I lived in Hawaii for 11 years... 2 of them were in a wonderful wooded area on Old Kalanianaole Rd in Kailua. The centipedes hung from the trees and came up my plumbing! There's nothing quite like seeing an 8 inch stinging worm with body armor in your tub when you turn on the shower water... NAKED. Talk about feeling vulnerable! My solution was to spray the sucker with hairspray (slowed 'em down considerably!) and then go get the scissors. I'd use the scissors like chop sticks and pick the now-stiffening centipede gently just below its head... rotate my body so the unwanted visitor was above the toilet and *SNIP* then flush the two pieces down the toilet.

A particularly evil man I was dating at the time tried to convince me that centipedes were creatures that could regenerate lost pieces and that now there were TWO VERY ANGRY centipedes waiting to hunt me down.

I also had cane spiders traipsing about my home... the clicking of their legs on my tile was unnerving.

I miss Hawaii.


Wrote this six years ago. Nothing's changed.  One of my favorite movies is 'Bull Durham'. And one of my favorite scenes in ...