I had seen this years ago. Made me laugh then. Still does now.

212* - Water Boils. Death Valley residents put on deodorant.

200* - Arizona children amuse themselves by dropping eggs on sidewalk and giggle while they fry.

150* - Miami residents put on sunglasses. Texans turn on the fan.

130* - Too hot to think. Texans and Californians undo top button. Antarctica is gone, polar bears extinct.

120* - Australians notice the sun is out. All Europeans and Canadians spontaneously combust.

110* - Canadians weep. New Yorkers burst open street fire hydrants.

105* - Texans drink coffee. Alaskans melt.

100* - British start sacrificing goats to make the sun go away. Californians finally turn off the heaters.

90* - Death Valley residents awaken. Scandinavians go underground.

80* - Canadians turn on the air conditioning full blast. Arizona residents stop shivering.

70* - Alaskans declare record heatwave. Californians rise from hibernation.

60* - Californians put on sweaters(if they can find one in their wardrobe)

50* - Miami residents turn on the heat

40* - You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably Minnesotans go swimming. Siberians melt.

35* - Italian cars don't start

32* - Water freezes

30* - You plan your vacation to Australia, Minnesotans put on T-shirts, Politicians begin to worry about the homeless, British cars don't start

25* - Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming

20* - You can hear your breath, Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further south

15* - French cars don't start, You plan a vacation in Mexico, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

10* - Too cold to ski, You need jumper cables to get your car going

5* - You plan your vacation in Houston, American cars don't start

0* - Alaskans put on T-shirts, too cold to skate

-10* - German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink

-15* - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansas residents stick tongues to metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist

-20* - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start

-25* - Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get driver going

-30* - You plan a two week hot bath, The Mighty Monongajela freezes. Swedish cars don't start

-40* - Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, your car helps you plan your trip south

-50* - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window

-60* - Hell freezes over, Polar bears move south!!


- hfs


BillT said...

-70ยบ - Hell freezes rock solid, Teddy Kennedy turns down a beer, Canadians think about taking the screens down and storing them for the winter.

BillT said...

"Monongahela" -- it's an Indian name, not a Mexican one.

BostonMaggie said...

"25* - Boston water freezes"

and Maggie's sister Jennifer starts to smile that evil now-I'm happy-smile.

liberal army wife said...

ooooh ya, ja knooo. Us Minnesoooootans are a hardy bunch. I'm just glad I'm NOT one anymore!


Wrote this six years ago. Nothing's changed.  One of my favorite movies is 'Bull Durham'. And one of my favorite scenes in ...