Heart of Life

by John Mayer

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws you heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

(Whistle Interlude)

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good

I know it's good

So very, very true.


- hfs


A new week

In church on Sunday, our Pastor announced that there was going to be Vacation Bible School at a nearby church this week. And that the hours were from 8am to 4pm...every day! I about turned backflips in the sanctuary! My kids had been bugging me to find a VBS for them and not only was there one but an all day one at that! So I have the week essentially to myself. My kids were excited to go this morning - there are a lot of the youth from our church working there so it was a familiar setting to them. And we have such awesome youth at our church so this is going to be a great week for them.

I spent the first part of today having brunch with some wonderful friends whose love and friendship have really helped pull me through the past month of my life. Without them, I don't know where I'd be (and that goes for my friends and family on the mainland as well). There is still no news and I am doing my best to wait patiently. Those of you that know me know how big of a challenge this is for me.

The second half of the day was spent tidying up the house. The idea that this house will remain tidy until I pick the children up in a bit (or until MacGyver comes home - whichever happens first) fascinates me. Tomorrow I plan to tackle their room and weed out some serious clutter. We'll be having a yard sale in a few weeks - time to start building up that inventory.

I've been looking for the upside of the situation that has upended my life and one of the ones I've come up with is the decided lightening of our proverbial load. We have too much STUFF. Too much material goods, too much debt, too much STUFF. We are now downsizing, largely out of necessity but I think the timing - in this respect - was perfect (God's timing always is). This has all caused us to re-evaluate many things in our lives - individually, as a couple, and as a family. My prayer is that our lives will return to something that resembles the "normal" that it was prior to all of this happening but, in this respect, I hope the perspectives we've gained over the past 4 weeks stay with us.


- hfs


Goodbye 36

Today, I am 37 years old. And I can't say I've been happier to see a year of my life end than I am today. For all intents and purposes, 36 SUCKED. Yes, there were some wonderful days in there but overall, I got beat up by my 36th year.

So I say, "Farewell 36. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

And as a parting gift, (and I'm sure this is over-sharing but I don't care) it left me a nice big zit on my chin yesterday.



- hfs


Monkey Bread

Ugh...I am in a sugar coma. Good Lord, was that good! I'm not 1/2 the photographer that Pioneer Woman is but here is our Monkey Bread in the making.

The ingredients, assembled.

Let the chopping begin!

Mmm...cinnamon and sugar - two of my favorite ingredients.

All sugar coated and ready to go. And, being given permission from PW, I did sneak a piece. Delish!


Butter and brown sugar - two MORE of my favorite ingredients!

Does it get any better than this?

Anyone have a spoon?

The finished product. Can't you just SMELL it? It tasted even better than it looks!

Tonight, we dine on Black Bean Chowder with Yogurt-Cilantro Relish. I can't wait!


- hfs

A crush

I have a crush. One that has taken a while to really hit me but it has. They say that confession is good for the soul so here goes...I am in love with The Pioneer Woman.

There. I said it. *whew* I feel better now.

I first learned of her several years back and would visit her site occasionally. But nothing serious.

But then...she cooked. It was the monkey bread that did it for me. It hooked me. Tomorrow night it will be the Black Bean Chowder with Yogurt Cilantro Relish for our date and I am *so* looking forward to it. I might even dress up for the occasion.

She's about as good with a camera as she is in the kitchen and a great blogger to boot. What more could you ask for? Oh, and she homeschools.

I am in love.


- hfs


Father's Day 2009


Lex has a post up this weekend that sums up, better than I could with my own words, a lot of what I'm feeling. Father's Day has never been tough for me until this year.

I miss him.

I really only have 1 picture of the two of us together at the moment - he was the family photographer. I'm sure my mom has a few more. Most of the images I have of my Dad are in my mind. Like Lex's dad, my father was older when I was born. He had just turned 44. This was his second marriage and he had two sons from his first. So I was Daddy's Girl. A position that I reveled in until I hit puberty and then I shunned that status. What a fool I was.

My family jokes that my father didn't know everything about anything but knew something about everything. And he did. He and MacGyver are alike in many ways - they say we often tend to marry our fathers and I definitely did. Good with his hands - he could fix just about anything. Usually it was in an unorthodox way - a product of his Depression-era upbringing more than likely. He was much more inclined to use something that he had laying around the house than he was to go buy whatever it was he needed. The shower curtain rings in the guest bathroom at my parents' house are evidence of that.

He was a woodworker and built furniture. Beautiful furniture that I am looking forward to inheriting when the time comes. And his furniture was substantial. We used to joke that, should a hurricane or earthquake strike, the house may crumble but the furniture would stand. The safest place was under a table he built.

He passed on to me his love of architecture and beautiful lines. One of my favorite places - a place that reminds me so much of him - is the Gamble House. I never had the chance to take him but I know he would have loved it.

And he was tough. Obviously I didn't come to know him until he was older but anyone who can beat off lung cancer, having a lung removed, open heart surgery following that, all sorts of bypass surgeries, and then stave off bladder cancer for years had to have one heck of a constitution.

Because he was older, we didn't do the "typical" father/child activities. In addition to being older than my friends' dads, he worked in a job that required him to travel a lot. The Middle East was a part of my life long before it came in to the national spotlight. The fact that my father traveled to the United Arab Emirates, Iran (before the fall of the Shah and the revolution), Saudi Arabia...it was normal for me. Like I said, I married my father because MacGyver gets to go to those places as well. But Daddy was gone a lot - a fact that really helped to strengthen my relationship with my mother and inspire my love of Mac and Cheese for dinner (traditional first meal after Daddy left on a business trip).

But we didn't go to baseball games or Father/Daughter dances. Instead, we spent large amounts of time in the garage - building things, fixing things, working on cars. When I was a kid, he tore apart (and put back together) the engine on our 1972 Toyota Celica GT. Fun times! I knew more about socket wrenches, pistons, carbuerators, and shocks than just about any kid I knew. And I wore it like a badge of honor.

I still do.

I am blessed. Even though he was 44 when I was born, he lived to be 80 years old. He was able to walk me down the aisle, meet both of my children, and live a full life.

And for that, I am grateful. I miss you Daddy. Happy Father's Day. Thank you.


- hfs


Maui 2009

First off, thanks so much for the good thoughts, prayers, well-wishes, and virgin sacrifices...they've all helped so much. No, MacGyver and I are not getting a divorce. The kids are fine. We just happened to run into a big, flaming pile of dog doo-doo and it's going to be a while before we find out how it will all shake out. We are praying for the best and preparing for the worst. We are blessed beyond belief with a great family, incredible friends, and wonderful support.

However, we still need your prayers. Some people have asked what they can do to help (without really knowing what challenges we are facing). Here's what I would tell them: pray that this will all work out in the end and that MacGyver and I would be able to face these challenges successfully and with grace. Pray that the powers that be would be fair and merciful in their decisions and that God would continue to surround us with the right people and provide us with direction.

In the midst of all of this, we had a trip to Maui that had been scheduled for months. Couldn't very well skip the trip so here are a few pictures from our Hana adventure.

Early on in the morning.

The black sand beach at Waipanapanapa Beach Park

The boy. AKA "Ricky".

The girl. AKA "Lucy".

There were crazy people jumping off this rock earlier in the day. Who am I kidding? I'd jump it too!

The first time we came here, in 2005, MacGyver and I counted over 300 Chrysler Sebrings (convertible, of course) on the road to Hana. This time around, it was Jeeps - JeepJeepJeeps everywhere! I didn't count though. I was too busy trying to avoid being carsick in the backseat.

Unlike last time, our drive continued on through Hana and then down around the southern tip of Maui and back up through Kula, past the entrance to Haleakala. I won't be able to make it up to the summit to catch the sunrise this time around. I didn't pack for it and I don't have a rental car. But that's ok. I like sleep more than I like sunrises.

A good trip though I'd much rather have stayed home. And I don't ever plan to make the drive to Hana again. Ever. Twelve hours in a car is ENTIRELY too long, especially when you're on an ISLAND. Ugh.


- hfs


Wait and See

I was born in Tennessee
Late July humidity
Doctor said I was lucky to be alive

I’ve been trouble since the day that I got here
Trouble till the day that I disappear
That’ll be the day that I finally get it right

There is hope for me yet
Because God won’t forget
All the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see
He’s not finished with me yet

I never really was that good in school
I talked too much, broke the rules
Teacher thought I was hopeless fool alright

I don’t know how but I made it through
It’s one of those things that you’ve gotta do
But I always had a knack for telling the truth


Still wondering why I’m here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He’s up to something
And the farther on I go
I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m, not here for nothing
He’s up to something

So now’s my time to be a man
Follow my heart as far as I can
No telling where I’m ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems
But singing my heart it’s one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight


Nahum 1:7

To say last week was a challenging one would probably be the understatement of the year. Have you ever had a time in your life where - literally - it took a sharp right turn? So sharp that you wonder what in the world just happened and will life EVER be "normal" again? So sharp that you feel you left your stomach (and your sanity) back behind you?

Multiply that by 10 and you might come close to where I'm at. Every plan that I had made, everything that I thought I could count on in the future (well, maybe not everything but darn near close) is gone. To say I am reeling would be appropriate.

Forgive me for being cryptic. Everything that is going on is still on-going and therefore I cannot discuss details. But I will say this: if you're the praying type, we could use them.

Big time.

I'm not one to ask for people to pray for me. Usually I ask that you join me in praying for others but to "stand" up here (can one really "stand" in a blog?) and ask for your prayers is difficult for me. But I'm here and we need them.

I will say this - I am blessed. We are blessed. Over the past 6 days I have been shown the true meaning of friendship and have discovered that I am surrounded by wonderful people whose support I do not understand how I have come to deserve. But I'll take it and be grateful for it and I pray that I am one day in a position to repay 1/2 of the kindness afforded to us by friends.

I may not post much in the near future. Doesn't mean I'm not here. Just means I don't have much to talk about. I hope to be back but we'll see.


- hfs

p.s. Nahum 1:7 ~ The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.



Romans 8:28 ~ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.


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