7.23.2009

Finding myself again

I think I turned a corner this past weekend. I think I found myself again.


The past 2 months have been the most difficult of my life. And I do not say that lightly. There were days where I literally felt as though I were in a hole that was filling up with water and drowning me. And I was lost.


Don't get me wrong - I know that there are plenty of other people facing much more difficult circumstances. And, relatively speaking, my life is good. My children are alive and healthy as is MacGyver. We have a roof over our heads and food on the table. And that should - God willing - continue tomorrow. And I am grateful.


But the past 2 months have been tough. And it's not over.


I don't know that I've ever lost myself before. Even during the toughest times in my life, I've never truly felt lost. Knocked down? Yes. But not lost. This time, I was lost. And it's entirely possible that, as this whole mess plays out, I may find myself lost yet again. But for now, I seem to have "found" myself again. And it's nice. I missed me.




Pau.




- hfs

11 comments:

LoveMyTanker said...

Glad you are doing okay. Hugs!!

Pogue said...

I'm really glad to hear you're doing better.

Jen said...

We missed you, too!

airforcewife said...

Welcome Back!

Leigh said...

I very much understand the "my friends' husbands are deploying and mine isn't" guilt. It's exactly what I felt when we were leaving HI and all of you were gearing up for you last rotation.

Bless MacGyer for recognizing that he has an obligation to the left behind children. I thank God for the men who have stepped in for Andrew.

Leigh said...

MacGyver.

I shouldn't spell after 9:30.

BillT said...

You weren't lost, you just couldn't locate your compass for a while...

Mary said...

On a lighter note - how are you enjoying the Guernsey (etc.) book? I've thought about checking it out from the library...

Shannon said...

I sure am sorry to hear you've had a tough couple of months. I don't know what is going on, but regardless, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. If there's anything I can do, please let me know.

Kate@ThePaycheckChronicles said...

I'm so glad to hear that you are seeing a little light in the tunnel. I have been praying for you (all!)

Marry Me Military said...

What an encouraging blog. I'm so glad you've found your stride again and am grateful for you sharing your journey. It's always hard admitting you went through a challenging time, but by posting this blog, you've inspired me that we all go through periods in our lives where we feel "lost". And somehow, even though it's hard to see when we're in it, it's also nice to know these times come to an end and we can look back on them from a better place. Take care!