Do you ever have one of those things that you find out and it just kind of lingers with you? Something you didn't know but now that you do, it just kind of puzzles you...but in a good way? To the point where every once in a while you just kind of stop and go "Huh." with a half smile and a puzzled look on your face?
I had this happen to me a short while back and I'm still wandering around with that half smile on my face saying "Huh." every once in a while. I found out that someone I know in real life actually reads my blog. This person is not someone I would EVER expect to a.) read blogs or b.) read mine. And while it's flattering to know they read my blog, it's more than a little surprising. And intimidating to some extent.
Briefly I worried about the quality of my writing. To the point that I actually started to dig through my archives and consider weeding out some of the less impressive stuff (I very rarely go through my archives. I never read back through my diaries either. I usually burn them, if you want to know the truth. So those of you that might possibly be concerned that I might one day write a tell-all book, you can breathe now.). But I stopped. This blog is what it is and taking into consideration who reads this blog isn't something I plan to do when it comes to how I write.
Except for the fact that both my mother and my mother-in-law read this so I do try to keep it appropriate. Hi mom!
Still, it gives me pause. I don't usually stop to think about WHO reads my blog. To be honest, in my mind, I don't think anyone reads it (though my sitemeter tells me different). I started this blog as an outlet and that is pretty much what it has remained. It's my way of cashing in my chips as it were. And I am sure my husband thanks God for Blogspot on a regular basis. Maybe.
I have the house to myself this afternoon and it's been nice. I've had a chance to live inside my head for a bit and process some of the stuff that's happened over the past weeks and months. Not sure I'm getting a true handle on things - I'm still a "beautiful disaster" - but maybe I'm making headway. Who knows?