I've been trying to come up with the words for this blog post for over 24 hours and I cannot. I am speechless.
We'd been waiting on word from HRC (Human Resources Command) as to the fate of my husband's Army career for many weeks and finally got word back yesterday. The Deputy Assistant Secretary of the Army has opted to RETAIN my husband in the United States Army.
I am speechless. I have no words. This was beyond anything we could have hoped for and I'm still pinching myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. Even his attorney(s) was amazed. If MacGyver were a cat, he'd have used up 8.99 of his 9 lives.
I'd say I'm thrilled - and I'm sure I am somewhere deep inside - but the shock is overwhelming all of that right now. It's sinking in S-L-O-W-L-Y.
And now we get to exchange the "ohmygodwearegettingoutofthearmywhatarewegoingtodo?" mindset for the "ohmygodtheyaregoingtoPCSusoffthisislandsofastitwillmakemyheadspin" mindset. Already the shell game of "where are we going next?" has begun. There are so many variables and options and possibilities at play right now that I need a laminated PowerPoint flow chart to track. So I'm not. MacGyver knows my preferences (stateside and OCONUS) and we'll see where the chips fall.
Tempering my excitement is the realization that I am - in a very small way - kind of disappointed. Because staying in the Army had been such a long shot, I had mentally already checked out of Army life. I had stopped thinking in terms of being a military wife and started thinking in terms of being married to a civilian contractor or possibly a National Guardsman and considering the possibility of actually controlling my choice of location. Ha! Silly girl. With the (wonderful) news that they are keeping him in the Army went my hopes that we would get to head toward the Pacific Northwest to be near (some) family and close friends. And In-N-Out. And Fred Meyer.
So, in that respect, I am disappointed. However, it is completely overshadowed by the gratefulness I feel toward the Deputy Assistant Secretary of the Army and their mercy as well as toward our family and friends who have stood by us through all of this. I know it wasn't easy and I know the situation was icky and I know it's been a long road (trust me, I KNOW). But we're at a crossroads now and things are looking up.
On the flip side, my heart is breaking. Staying here is not really an option. So our time on this island is finally winding down. Until the age of 18, I lived in the same house on the same street and went to the same schools with the same friends. And then I left for college(s). I hit 4 colleges in 7 years and have moved more than 15 times in 15 years. Aside from the 4.5 years I lived in Colorado, this is the longest I've lived anywhere since I was a child. I miss Colorado desperately but this has become home for me.
And it is going to kill me to leave.
I am already to the point where thinking about it brings me to tears. It will be as hard to say goodbye to this place and our friends here as it was to say goodbye to my good friends when they left earlier this year. I would be content to live here the rest of my life. I know that some people are not cut out to live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. And I know that I prefer to be cold as opposed to hot. And I know that it's a pain the okole to be stuck on this rock when many of the things an the people you want most are on the mainland.
But this is home for me now. I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to leave.
So I'm back to being speechless.