My brain sees most things in very black and white perspectives. In Team Rubicon, volunteers wear grey shirts on operations and during training. Those that are in leadership - volunteer or paid positions - have black polos that are worn at conferences, speaking engagements, and academic exercises. Recently, I've seen a lot of half-hearted back-and-forth about 'greyshirt versus blackshirt' and it started me thinking.

Go figure.

Black shirt is what I do. It's a role; a job that allows me to serve the volunteers in my region and in the organization. It's a way for me to give back if and when I can't go on a deployment. I'm blessed to have this role and this job.

Grey shirt is what I AM. I was a volunteer with TR long before I ever stepped into any kind of leadership role. Even if my job were to disappear tomorrow or if I had to step away for some reason, I will remain a grey shirt.


What a difference a year makes

About a year ago, I was fighting nerves and getting ready to head out to my very first Team Rubicon training event. Even though I've been a TR member since 2010, that was my first foray out into the real TR world.

NOTHING in my life has been the same since.

1APR will mark the one year anniversary of my active involvement with this organization that means so much to me. It will also mark the one year anniversary of a day when I found pieces of myself that I didn't know were missing. Granted, a calendar year in TR is akin to 7 years in real life. And that is so true. It feels like it's been 7 years since I met these people.

And 3APR will mark the start to a new chapter in my life - I've been hired (an honest to goodness paid position) on as the Regional Readiness Associate for Region VII in Team Rubicon. What does a 'Regional Readiness Associate' actually do, you ask? Good question! I'll be figuring that out with the help and guidance of my boss and the rest of the wonderful leadership team I work with. I am so excited that I can't form words to describe it all at the moment.

Oh, and as icing on the cake, last weekend I went to Saint Louis to help facilitate the Chainsaw Train the Trainer course (training existing TR sawyers to become Regional Chainsaw Instructors, or RCIs). I was only supposed to be site coordinator, but there was room in the course so I was able to tuck in and take the course! I came away with an action plan that lines out what I need to do in order to be a fully-functioning RCI: I need to co-teach 2 Sawyer 1 courses with a qualified RCI and I need more trigger time (service projects, cut days, and deployments).

Honestly, I'm not sure what I'm more excited about: the job or the RCI certification. Oh, who am I kidding? Totally the job. I'm over-the-moon thrilled that they chose to hire me. Never in a million years did I ever believe I would be anything other than a volunteer. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the idea of even being on the leadership team as the Deputy Regional Membership Manager, let alone drawing a paycheck from this organization.

And the idea that I get to work even MORE with these people I love, doing these things that I love, and that I'm able to help support my family while doing so...this is a dream come true.

I am humbled beyond words.


It's been a while...

Didn't realize it had been so long since I last posted. I don't have an excuse other than the fact that life has been full, but nothing remarkable.

I started the Advanced EMT course at the beginning of the year and it's just further reinforcing that I am on the right path. I'm thoroughly enjoying the class and everything I'm learning, to include IV sticks. We had our first day of live IV sticks this past week and I am 2/2!

So I have 2 successful sticks and only 28 more to go! I'm still not sure how I'm going to fit 240 hours of rig time and 80 hours of clinical time in my life between now and the end of July but it will happen. Sleep is over-rated, right? 

Team Rubicon is plugging along. It's been relatively quiet since before the holidays. We had a great chainsaw class that I had the privilege to the site coordinator. In addition to that, I was able to help coach when the students headed out to pt their new-found knowledge to use. It was fantastic to be back in something that resembles a teaching role. On my 'bucket list' for TR is to become instructor certified in *something* (and eventually multiple somethings) but right now, none of the opportunities line up with my schedule or qualifications. But that's ok - it will happen when it's supposed to happen.

Family life is going well too. The Girl is wrapping up championship short course swim season. She qualified for the championship meet which surprised all of us. She's slowly coming to the realization that she might be a distance swimmer. Poor kid. The Boy wrapped up basketball season and is looking to do track to tide him over until baseball season starts. Then he wants to swim this summer. Seven sports this year plus weight training. The kid is nuts! MacGyver is *this* close to being done with his courses and flight hours and should be picking up a job soon.

MacGyver and I don't normally do Valentine's Day but I came home to find a gift...or two...waiting for me. It's like he loves me or something.

They need some work but they run and they are Stihls. I can't wait to get out and use them - the north access road to our property has some downed trees and a lot of honeysuckle growth that needs trimmed back. So I'll put the 180 to use, hopefully this weekend!

That's really about all I have. Waiting patiently for storm season to come upon us. I cannot wait for winter to be over. I've been able to hit the trails and hike a few times but nowhere near as often as I'd like. Soon, though. Soon.

But now it's time for bed. Goodnight!


I don't like to slow down

I was studying at SBUX before the holidays, and an acquaintance stopped to say hi. After the pleasantries, they asked what I had been up to lately - it had been a while since I had last seen this person. I gave them the Cliff's Notes' version of my life and was really excited to tell them some of what I had been up to.

They responded by saying that they hadn't seen me at church lately and hoped the holidays would afford me time to 'slow down' so that I could really focus on what was really important. That set me back a bit. I pressed a little deeper into what they meant, and the gist of it was that being busy prevents a person from truly appreciating the blessings in life or having a 'right relationship with God' - time to pray and 'talk to God'.

Huh. Who knew?

I'm pretty sure God cocked an eyebrow at that one.

See, He and I talk every day; often hourly. Sometimes, it's a simple 'Thank you' or 'Help' - those are my two favorite prayers. He hears those often. But I also talk to Him about the people in my life - those close to me, acquaintances, people I pass on the street - and the things going on for them and for me. It's pretty much an on-going conversation with Him that starts the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep. Thankfully, He never tires of my incessant yammering and He's never unavailable.

And here's the key: I can talk to Him even when I'm outside the 4 walls of my church.

I started to get defensive as I listened to this person talk and I started to point out that the majority of what I do during the day is in service to others (Matthew 28:19. Or Matthew 22:36-40. Or both.) or in preparation to be in service to others, but I stopped myself. There was no point. I do not need to justify myself or how I live my life to anyone. I am who I am and I know WHOSE I am. And I am becoming more and more aware of what He has called me to do and be in this life and NONE of it involves sitting still.

I am not wired to sit still. I never have been - ask my mom or my friends that have known me for any amount of time. Sitting still (for me) does no one any good. I'm of no use to anyone by sitting still, least of all God. He didn't put this passion in me for no reason.

Don't get me wrong - there is a time and a place for REST. But sitting still and rest are different things. God didn't design me to sit still.

So I don't. And I won't, until He tells me to.

I thanked this person for their advice and went back to studying. Must get awfully heavy for them to be carrying that gavel around...



"Examination Scored.
Congratulations on passing the NREMT National EMS Certification cognitive examination. Your passing results on the cognitive examination will remain valid for one calendar year from the date you took the examination, provided all other entry requirements of the NREMT are met. "

Goal #3 NAILED. I am a nationally registered EMT-B. It hasn't yet sunk in. Twenty-three years. Not perfect, but I'm making it work.

And now, I have nine days to catch my breath, tackle my 'TO DO' list (that hasn't really been touched since...we moved back to Kansas, if I'm being honest), and get ready for EMT-Advanced. That's an 8-month course that will add the ability to start IVs and intubate patients to my tool kit. While I'm working through that, I'll be prepping my application for Paramedic school. And if Paramedic school doesn't pan out (tough selection process for the program I'm looking to get into), then I am going to look into taking things in the Emergency Management direction. Not sure if that would be a Master's degree or just a certificate or what just yet. 

Can't sit still...